Most businesses claim to prioritise great service. They train teams to be efficient, responsive, and professional.

But there’s a problem—great service is now the baseline. It’s expected.

No one raves about a restaurant that gets their order right, a hotel that provides a clean room, or an airline that departs on time. These are just table stakes. Functional service might prevent complaints, but it doesn’t create loyalty.

What people remember—what they talk about—is how you made them feel.

The difference between a good experience and a remarkable one often comes down to something deeper: Unreasonable Hospitality.

Too often, businesses focus on fixing problems rather than creating magic. They eliminate friction but fail to add delight. But the companies, teams, and individuals who master the art of unreasonable hospitality don’t just meet expectations—they exceed them in ways people never forget.

From transactional to transformational

The concept of unreasonable hospitality was popularised by Will Guidara, former co-owner of Eleven Madison Park. This was a restaurant that became the best in the world—not just because of its food, but because of how it made people feel.

Guidara’s philosophy? Give people more than they expect. Not in a way that’s scripted or formulaic, but in a way that feels deeply personal, thoughtful, and human.

At Eleven Madison Park, it wasn’t just about serving a meal—it was about creating moments of magic. Here are three real examples, and you can read many more in Guidara’s book.

1. Swapping Champagne for Budweiser

A guest let the restaurant know in advance that his father—a steak-and-potatoes, no-frills kind of guy—wasn’t exactly thrilled about fine dining. Instead of trying to convince him of the restaurant’s brilliance, the team decided to meet him where he was. They swapped out their elaborate champagne trolley for a Budweiser one, stocked with every type of Bud available. Instead of feeling out of place, the guest felt seen, welcomed, and completely at home in an environment that wasn’t his usual scene.

2. A beach holiday, without the beach

A couple had planned a holiday, only to have their flight cancelled at the last minute. Instead of sulking at home, they decided to treat themselves to a meal at Eleven Madison Park. The team could have simply empathised with their bad luck, but instead, they took action, and transformed a private dining room into their own personal beach—complete with reclining chairs, a kiddie pool filled with water, sand on the floor, and tropical drinks served with tiny umbrellas. The guests didn’t just leave with a good meal—they left with a story they’d tell forever.

3. Snowfall and an unforgettable nightcap

A family from Spain was dining at Eleven Madison Park when something magical happened: snow started falling outside. The children, seeing snow for the first time in their lives, were mesmerised. Instead of just letting them enjoy the view, the restaurant made the moment unforgettable. The team found an SUV, filled it with blankets, and had it waiting outside to take the family to Central Park so they could experience their first snowfall up close. It was a moment of pure joy—not just for the family, but for the team that made it happen.

These stories aren’t about grand gestures or extravagant budgets. They’re about listening, caring, and taking action. They prove that the best hospitality—the kind that creates lifelong memories—doesn’t come from delivering what’s expected. It comes from being just a little more unreasonable.

Most businesses don’t operate in fine dining. But the principle applies everywhere. People don’t just want efficiency—they want to feel seen, valued, and cared for.

The question is: how do you build this mindset into your own team? Let’s look at some practical approaches you can take.

Why most businesses get this wrong

Unreasonable hospitality sounds obvious—who wouldn’t want to delight their customers? But in practice, most organisations struggle with it. Here’s why:

• They confuse process with experience – A perfectly streamlined, well-optimised customer journey doesn’t necessarily create an emotional connection. Efficiency and hospitality aren’t the same thing.
• They focus on fixing rather than delighting – Most service training is about problem-solving, not about creating moments of surprise and joy.
• They fear inconsistency – Many businesses resist giving frontline teams the freedom to be creative with customer experiences, worried that it will lead to unpredictable results.
• They prioritise scale over soul – Unreasonable hospitality often requires effort that doesn’t fit neatly into KPIs or standardised workflows. But the most memorable experiences aren’t built for efficiency—they’re built for impact.

To build a culture of unreasonable hospitality, you have to break free from these constraints.

You have to empower teams, shift priorities, and create space for generosity.

How to bring unreasonable hospitality into your team

Embedding this mindset in your organisation doesn’t mean throwing out structure or giving away free stuff—it means making generosity a strategic advantage.

It’s about shifting from a transactional approach to a relational one, recognising that every interaction is an opportunity to create a story worth telling.

So how do you make that happen?

1. Teach your team to listen differently

The best moments of unreasonable hospitality don’t come from a script. They come from people who are paying attention. Teach your team to listen for cues—the offhand remark, the casual mention of a birthday, the subtle sign of hesitation when choosing between two options.

Train them to ask better questions. Instead of just “How can I help?”—what about, “What brings you in today?” or “What would make this experience special for you?” The more they understand what matters to a customer, the more opportunities they’ll spot to create unexpected moments of delight.

It’s not about offering random perks. It’s about offering the right thing to the right person at the right time. That’s what makes it feel personal and, hopefully, unforgettable.

2. Create permission for spontaneity

Most businesses operate on a rigid framework—scripts, processes, service standards. While consistency is important, too much structure can kill spontaneity. Employees need the freedom (and trust) to go off-script and do something special when the moment arises.

If they need a manager’s approval for every small gesture, it won’t happen. Give them guardrails, not handcuffs. Let them know that if they see an opportunity to create a memorable moment, they’re empowered to take it.

It could be as simple as a hotel receptionist upgrading a guest to a better room, not because they complained, but because it’s their anniversary. Or a bookshop employee slipping a handwritten note into a book a customer was excited about, recommending another title they might love.

These moments only happen when people feel they can make them happen. Here are some examples:

• Give a budget for delight – Employees get a small discretionary budget for surprise upgrades or thoughtful gestures.
• Create pre-approved gestures – Identify simple, no-approval-needed ways to make a customer’s day.
• Use the "Golden Rule" test – If it would make their day, employees can go ahead without asking.
• Allow time-limited flexibility – Give extra time for personalised interactions that enhance experiences.
• Recognise, don’t reprimand – Celebrate initiative, even when it’s not perfect, to reinforce the right mindset.

3. Celebrate and share great moments

If you want this mindset to spread, you need to make it visible. People repeat what gets recognised.

Encourage teams to share stories of when they went above and beyond. Create a space—whether it’s a Slack channel, part of a regular meeting, or an internal newsletter—where people can talk about those small, unexpected gestures that made a difference.

When employees hear real examples of what unreasonable hospitality looks like, they start looking for their own opportunities to create those moments. Recognition fuels repetition. The more stories are shared, the more the mindset becomes part of how your team operates.

4. Measure what actually matters

Most businesses obsess over efficiency—how quickly a call was answered, how fast a product was delivered, how many customers were served in an hour. But speed isn’t the same as impact.

Instead of just tracking traditional service metrics, start measuring the emotional impact of what you do. What do people talk about after they interact with your business? What stories do they tell their friends?

Look for patterns. Are there specific moments in the customer journey where delight happens naturally? Are there pain points where an unexpected act of generosity could turn frustration into loyalty? Numbers tell you what’s happening, but stories tell you why people keep coming back.

Here are five real metrics that actually measure unreasonable hospitality—not just how fast or efficient you are, but how much impact you’re making:

1. Customer story count – Track how often customers share a memorable experience in reviews, feedback, or social media. If people are telling stories about you, you’re doing something right.
2. Repeat visit rate – Measure how many first-time customers come back within a set timeframe. A return visit is the ultimate proof that you made an impression.
3. Surprise & delight usage – Keep an eye on how often employees take advantage of their discretionary budget or pre-approved gestures. If no one’s using it, they either don’t feel empowered—or the experience isn’t built into the culture yet.
4. Emotional NPS comments – Don’t just look at Net Promoter Scores—dig into the words customers use. Are they saying they felt “seen,” “valued,” or “surprised”? Those signals are far more important than just a number.
5. Customer interaction time – Instead of only tracking how fast employees serve people, measure how often they take time to make personal connections. If speed is the only KPI, you’re likely missing the moments that actually make people loyal.

If all you measure is efficiency, that’s all you’ll optimise for. But if you want customers to feel something, you need to start tracking what actually matters.

5. Lead by example

Culture starts at the top. If leadership embraces this philosophy—whether with customers or within their own team—it becomes part of the organisation’s DNA.

If you want your team to go the extra mile, they need to see you doing it too. That might mean stepping in to personally help a customer. It might mean recognising an employee’s contribution in a way that feels thoughtful and specific. It might mean taking time to truly listen to what’s going on in your organisation, rather than just reviewing reports.

When leaders prioritise generosity, it signals that this isn’t just a gimmick—it’s the way the organisation operates. And when that happens, unreasonable hospitality stops being an initiative and starts being a habit.

Key takeaways

• Good service is expected. Unreasonable hospitality is memorable.
• It’s not about grand gestures—it’s about making people feel valued in a way they didn’t expect.
• Most businesses focus on efficiency. The best businesses focus on emotional connection.
• Building a culture of unreasonable hospitality requires giving teams both the permission and the tools to create special moments.
• When done right, it’s not just good for customers—it makes work more meaningful for everyone involved.

Make it real

If you want your business to be remembered, you have to give people something worth remembering.

So here’s your challenge: Over the next week, find one opportunity—just one—to create an unexpected moment of generosity for a customer, a colleague, or even a stranger. See how it feels. Watch their reaction.

And then ask yourself—what would happen if this wasn’t just a one-off, but a way of doing business?

Unreasonable hospitality isn’t about going above and beyond every time. It’s about recognising the moments that matter and having the mindset, the permission, and the culture to make them unforgettable.