Picture this: your new brother-in law is visiting with his wife from another country. You offer to pick them up from the airport and drive them to your home, where they'll stay with you for a few days.

When you arrive at the airport you greet them in the arrivals hall and walk with them to the car park. However before getting in your car they ask to see your driving licence. You object, saying of course you have a licence, you've had one for several decades. But you've left it at home.

Frustrated, your brother-in-law refuses to get into the car, insisting on calling a local taxi instead. The mood is soured before you've even left the airport, and what should have been a warm, welcoming start to their visit turns into an unnecessary standoff.

Absurd? Absolutely. But this is what a world without trust looks like—every interaction bogged down in doubt, suspicion, and unnecessary barriers.

Why we trust some people more than others

So why did your brother-in-law refuse to get in your car? What was missing?

It wasn't your driving ability—he didn’t even give you the chance to prove it. It was trust.

He lacked enough belief in your capability and reliability to accept the ride.

When people hesitate, second-guess, or refuse to follow, it’s often because one of the key elements of trust is missing.

You might trust a friend enough to lend them £10, but would you feel the same about lending them £1000? Trust scales based on stakes and prior experience.

Or think about an airline pilot—you board a plane without ever meeting them, trusting their expertise implicitly. But would you trust that same pilot to look after your children for an hour? Probably not, because trust depends on context, not just competence.

The Trust Equation from the book The Trusted Advisor provides a simple framework:

• Credibility – Do they know their stuff? Can they deliver on what they say?
• Reliability – Do they follow through consistently?
• Intimacy – Can you be honest with them? Do they create psychological safety?
• Self-Orientation – Are they in it for themselves, or do they have your best interests in mind?

Leaders who lack trust often fall short on intimacy (they don’t connect) or score too high on self-orientation (they only look out for themselves).

Self-orientation is a particularly insidious trust killer. It’s not just about selfishness; it’s about focus. If someone appears more focused on their own needs, ambitions, or anxieties rather than the collective good, trust erodes. A leader who prioritises their career advancement over the success of their team sends a clear message: “I come first.” Likewise, if someone listens just to respond rather than to understand, or if they shift blame to protect their reputation, people quickly sense that their motives aren’t aligned with the group’s best interests.

Understanding this equation gives you a way to actively build trust, rather than just hoping it happens.

Let's explore in-depth how you can build trust as a leader.

The Trust Dividend: What high trust enables

When trust is strong, everything moves faster. Decisions are made with confidence, teams collaborate seamlessly, and leaders can delegate without micromanaging.

It matters - a lot. Compared with people at low-trust companies, people at high-trust companies report: 74% less stress, 106% more energy at work, 50% higher productivity, 13% fewer sick days, 76% more engagement, 29% more satisfaction with their lives, 40% less burnout.

High trust enables:

• ‍Speed – Workflows run smoothly because people don’t waste time second-guessing each other.
• ‍Innovation – People take risks because they know they won’t be punished for every failure.‍
• Loyalty – Employees stay and customers return because they trust your word.‍
• Reduced Stress – Less bureaucracy, fewer unnecessary checks, and more focus on real work.

Stephen Covey calls this The Speed of Trust—high trust reduces friction in an organisation, leading to faster execution and better results.

Do you start people at 0% or 100%?

When you meet someone new, do they start at 0% trust, earning it bit by bit, or at 100%, reducing their score if they mess up?

Some people operate with earned trust—you’re skeptical until someone proves themselves. Others use assumed trust—you trust by default until given a reason not to. Both have pros and cons:

• Starting at 0% protects you from being taken advantage of but slows down relationships.
• Starting at 100% builds rapport quickly but leaves you vulnerable to betrayal.

In reality, most of us use a mix. The trick is knowing when to extend trust—and when to withhold it.

For example, if you start people at 0% trust, you might hesitate to let a new colleague take notes in a meeting until they’ve proven their reliability. On the other hand, if you start at 100%, you might be comfortable letting them do so immediately—but would you trust them to deliver a high-stakes presentation on your behalf?

Similarly, you might trust a friend to house-sit for a weekend, but if you start trust at 0%, you’d likely hesitate to let them handle your financial affairs.

The degree and nature of trust depend on context, stakes, and prior experiences, influencing whether you extend trust upfront or make someone earn it over time.

• Do you start people at 0% or 100%? Why?
• Has this approach ever worked against you?

The slow poison: How trust gets eroded

Trust takes time to build but seconds to destroy. Common ways trust erodes:

• Inconsistency – Saying one thing and doing another.
• ‍Micromanagement – If you don’t trust people to do their jobs, they stop trusting you too.
• ‍Lack of transparency – Withholding key information breeds suspicion.
• ‍Broken promises – Even small unkept commitments add up.
• ‍Self-Interest over the team – When leaders prioritise themselves over the group, people notice.

Each broken promise or half-truth chips away at trust, until all that’s left is polite compliance—people do what’s required, but no more.

The trust builders: What strengthens trust

If trust is weak, you don’t fix it with a rousing speech. You fix it with consistent actions:

• ‍Be Reliable – Do what you say, every time. No exceptions.
• ‍Admit Mistakes – Owning failures actually builds trust—it shows honesty and accountability.
• ‍Be Transparent – Don’t just share the good news. If there’s bad news, deliver it openly.
• ‍Give Trust to Get Trust – Micromanaging sends the message: “I don’t trust you.” Delegating sends the opposite message.
• ‍Prioritise the Relationship Over the Outcome – Trust isn’t transactional. If people feel like you care about them, they’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Trust Wobbles: When trust gets shaky

Even in the strongest relationships, trust isn’t static—it wobbles. A single misstep, a misunderstanding, or a moment of poor judgement can shake trust, even if it’s well-established. The key isn’t avoiding wobbles altogether (that’s impossible), but recognising when they happen and addressing them before they become full-blown trust failures.

Common Trust Wobbles:

• Inconsistent behaviour – Saying one thing and doing another, even unintentionally, can make people question your reliability.‍
• Lack of transparency – If you hold back information that later comes to light, even if it wasn’t malicious, people start to wonder what else you’re not sharing.‍
• Emotional reactions – Under pressure, we sometimes snap, dismiss, or shut people down. Even a small moment of disengagement can make others question if they can count on you.‍
• Misaligned expectations – If you assume one thing and the other person assumes another, trust can wobble simply due to differing perspectives.

How to stabilise a Trust Wobble:

• Acknowledge it quickly – The longer a wobble lingers, the worse it gets. Own up to it as soon as you notice.‍
• Clarify intent vs. impact – You may not have meant to undermine trust, but if that’s the impact, address it. Intent doesn’t erase damage.‍
• Reset expectations – If a misunderstanding led to a wobble, have a conversation to get everyone aligned.‍
• Follow through with consistency – Actions rebuild trust faster than words. Make sure your behaviour over time proves your reliability.

Trust wobbles are part of being human. The best leaders don’t pretend they never happen—they address them head-on, turning a moment of doubt into an opportunity for deeper trust.

BRAVING Trust

Brené Brown’s BRAVING model breaks trust down into seven key elements—practical, everyday actions that help build and maintain trust in relationships. Here’s how you can apply them in your leadership and interactions:

1. Boundaries – Be clear about what’s okay and what’s not, for yourself and others. If you set a limit, stick to it. If someone else sets one, respect it.
2. Reliability – Do what you say you’ll do. Whether it’s a small promise or a major commitment, following through consistently is what builds credibility.
3. Accountability – Own your mistakes. Leaders who admit when they’ve got something wrong (and fix it) build far more trust than those who deflect blame.
4. Vault – Keep confidences. If someone shares something in confidence, don’t repeat it. Gossiping is one of the fastest ways to erode trust.
5. Integrity – Do what’s right, even when it’s hard. Integrity means aligning your actions with your values, not just when it’s convenient.
6. Non-Judgment – Foster an environment where people feel safe sharing their struggles or concerns without fear of being judged or dismissed.
7. Generosity – Assume the best intentions. If someone’s actions seem off, consider that they might be having a tough day rather than jumping to conclusions.

Consistently applying these principles fosters an environment where trust thrives—whether in leadership, teamwork, or personal relationships.

Bringing it all together

OK, so we’ve gone through quite a few examples and models - let’s bring it all together so we can take a simple, straightforward approach to trust.

At its core, trust is about consistency, transparency, and intent.

If you want to be trusted, focus on:

• Doing what you say you’ll do – Reliability is everything.
• Being honest, even when it’s hard – Transparency builds confidence.
• Showing people you care – Trust grows when people believe you have their best interests at heart.
• Addressing “trust wobbles” quickly – The longer you leave them, the worse they get.
• Giving trust to receive it – It’s a two-way street.

Trust isn’t just a leadership skill—it’s the foundation of how we work, collaborate, and thrive. The best leaders understand this: Trust isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s a necessity.

Here are three simple actions you can take to build trust today:

1. Follow through on a commitment – Keep a promise, no matter how small, to show reliability.
2. Be transparent – Share an honest update or decision-making process with your team.
3. Show appreciation – Recognise someone's contribution and let them know they’re valued.